Posts from former Discussion pages 

Adults Remember being Alienated as Children

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Post #  000004d9
An Adult Remembers
From: GmaD1953
Remote Name: 68.2.152.157

Comments
It may not be of much comfort to everyone...but, as a child my mother would make deragatory remarks about my father. My father never said one bad word about her. So, who do you think I feel loved me the most? Dear ole' Dad...and, I am now 51 years old and still love him for it.  (Last changed: February 26, 2006)

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REPLIES:

Post # 000004dc
Re: An Adult Remembers
From: Lisa
Remote Name: 24.208.147.181

Comments
I hope that my stepson remembers the same thing and loves his father all the more for it. Thank you for your post.  (Last changed: February 26, 2006 )

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Post # 00000528
Stay Strong (long post, sorry)
From: DisEnchanted
Remote Name: 24.178.169.133

Comments
Growing up, all that I heard was how horrible my father was, over and over. I didn't know who to believe. My father only *once* said anything bad about my mother: "She's crazy". I was 15 then and I knew that about her anyway. The point is, I resented my mother for trying to turn me against my father because of her own hatred towards him. And I respected my father for not retaliating on her level. Parents need to understand that children want to love both of their parents. It is petty and selfish to destroy your child's emotional well-being by bashing the other parent to them.....................Sadly, I am going through this with my own son by his father. He is still young and doesn't act out towards me. I try to keep my head up and take the "high road", despite my reaction to retaliate. I remember one instance when my son was 4::::We were in the grocery store and he says (out of nowhere), "Daddy says you're a liar." Struggling to smile, I said, "Really? Why is that?" He said, "Because you say Fruit Loops is cereal but it's really candy." I took him to the cereal aisle and pointed out (nicely, not sarcastically) all of the cereals, Fruit Loops included. Then we went to the candy aisle. "See, sweetie? No Fruit Loops here," I said. He looked bewildered, then smiled and said, "You're right! Fruit Loops IS cereal!" I didn't say anything bad about his father and never brought it up again.............I'm lucky compared to a lot of the people posting here. It is really hard not to retaliate. But I have cultivated a good relationship with my son that I pray will continue. I have reinforced that he can come to me with any questions and that I will never lie to him (and I never have). I refuse to involve him in problems I have with his father and I will not argue with his dad in front of him, no matter how hard his dad instigates me. I also try my best to live a life where my son will be proud to call me his mother. He is the reason the sun rises in my life, and I will not contribute to this emotional abuse. Stay strong, everyone.  
(Last changed: February 26, 2006)

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Post #  00000574
Re: An Adult Remembers
From: mom with without her children
Remote Name: 209.121.36.27

Comments
I have been taking a lonely "high road" for years. I just pray that one day my children will see, like you did that I loved them and that I am a good person, because I am, and I love them and miss them so much!  (Last changed: February 26, 2006)

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Post #  00000587
Re: An Adult Remembers
From: i feel the pain...
Remote Name: 150.142.236.42

Comments
i don't know if i should take the high road  (Last changed: February 26, 2006)

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Post #  (Last changed: February 26, 2006)

 

 

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