Posts from former Discussion pages 

Missing Kids - Father & Readers Respond to Mother's Posts (part 2 of 2)

NOTE: All posts are presented 'as is' as the poster wrote it originally, with no editing of the content except for last names and E-Mail addresses.  The poster's ISP address is included as it was required to create the original post. 

 

Webmaster note:  The father's posts on the previous page and the mother's posts on this page illustrate the difficulties between parents involved in custody and relationship disputes. No outsider can know "the truth" nor which party is "right."  No layperson can judge which parent is or was "an alienator." 

 

Post #  0000061e
[The Mother's] Response
From: 
Remote Name: 24.117.44.16

Comments
You can play the blame game kiddo...Its not about you...its about the boys...and you are right I didnt pay support for a long time...didnt know where the kids were on this earth either...There are 2 sides to every story, but in your case it all comes back to you....We all know the only reason people talk to you is to hear about the boys...Get a Grip   (Last changed: February 26, 2006)

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REPLIES:

Post # 0000062a
Re: [The Mother's] Response
From: 
Remote Name: 24.117.44.16

Comments
Playing the blame game is not tough, I was not a good father all the time....I did not pay child support when she stopped letting me see the kids, that I shouyld have done, and yes I got into some trouble with credit cards and such...I take responsability for my wrong doings...also do not deny 50% of the problems were from me...But I was always good to my babies, Never put them in danger, Allison from what I hear is good to them now...I am sure her life is terrible because of me...But I deserve to at least know where they are...I have not talked or seen them in over 2 years...thats not fair...Time heals all wounds, I am willing to work and make up for what I lost...I will always be their father, and will never give up...This is my last reponse talking bad about her, bad shit has happened, but in the end when the smoke clears she is their mother and was their when I couldnt be, and because of that I cannot hate her...We have made mistakes...but we have bother learned from them, we both have bad tempers and yelling at each other isnt good...We havent learned much if it is still happening...Thanks to those who always have an open ear... Joe  (Last changed: February 26, 2006 )

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Post # 0000063b
Re: [The Mother's] Response
From: the facts
Remote Name: 152.163.101.9

Comments
do you have a order from a court stating he is not to see his children?.....I have not seen one post that proves that to be the case.....You want people to believe you then provide the proof......his failure to pay child support is not a good thing but understand another fact.......failure to pay does not give you the right to deny him access to the children...it takes a court order to do that....you are barking up a tree with no bark....evidence is what people believe.... there are many people in this world that have gone to jail....and are still great parents....his lack of judgement in the past was sentenced by a court....I have to wonder why you think he should have gotten a life sentence?...that is what you are doing to him and you are not a judge.....and how could he pay in prison?......tell me what income did he have there?....I dont know but I doubt he had a true wage earning job.......I suggest you take your attorneys and prove him an unfit parent or begin to realize he is their father.... I also have issue with the idea you say your children have a father.....another man in your life in no way means he is their father.....He may be a great guy but he IS NOT the father of those children.  (Last changed: February 26, 2006)

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Post # 0000063c
Re: [The Mother's] Response
From: Milwaukee Dad
Remote Name: 69.210.129.101

Comments
To [The Mother] and Joe: I think by now you two have realized the issues are with each other not the kids. You want help! Ms. DiColas Then lets get something done. Ms. DiColas, you don't want his money, then send a letter to the courts to stop it, it's that simple. Using someones past is labeling in a sense. Example- If someone's mother is a killer like in the book " The Black Widow", does that make her daughters one too? No-way any logical thinking person would say. Same holds true here, you and him both have mistakes, does that make you a better parent then him? Mistakes is how people learn, if every one was perfect, lawyers would be at Mickey D's asking " Did you want to super size that order"; verses what do say now " I know its a supersized bill so shallow it and pay me now". In any course, they always win. As you have read, it don't have a court order to move, depending in what county your in, things can be very ugly. PLease reevaluate your situation, GOOD LUCK!    (Last changed: February 26, 2006)

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Post # 0000063d
Re: [The Mother's] Response
From: [the mother]
Remote Name: 69.10.122.88

Comments
to all of you I am not reevaluating anything because all of you think I should, and anyone else either my parents or his agree getting away from that situation was best for me and the kids. And as for the facts I love how you all jump down my throat to give you facts but no one has yet asked him for proof. I wish you all the best of luck with your situations but I know what is best for me and my kids and we are doing that now, they have a "father figure" who actually cares for them and not just when its convient for him. If Joe was that concerned about his kids he would have gotten his life together years ago. Like I said he is the only one who has a problem with this everyone else including his family beleive this has been for the best, he made his choices and now he has to live with that.   (Last changed: February 26, 2006)

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Post # 0000064d
Re: [The Mother's] Response
From: snuz2luz
Remote Name: 152.163.100.197

Comments
I've watched this growing "commentary" and can't agree more that the woman is the alienator in this case. What gives her the right to decide whether Joe gets contact with the children? What gives her the right to be the judge, and jury? I can only say from my experience, my ex was the alienator, that the harder they try to keep the kids from the loving parent, the quicker it backfires. My son is now contacting me in less than 6 months, but the ex is still "buying" the daughter. She knows how to manipulate the heck out of him. Get a grip on life people. Kids always want to know who their parents are. Joe is the biological father and you can't take that from him. The kids will get in touch with him eventually and then watch what happens.   (Last changed: February 26, 2006)

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Post #  00000622
Re: [The Mother's] Response
From: Milwaukee Dad
Remote Name: 152.132.8.194

Comments
I take it your the ex-husband? If so please tell the group what happen why you don't see your kids.    (Last changed: February 26, 2006)

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Post # 00000625
Re: [The Mother's] Response
From: [the mother]
Remote Name: 69.10.102.168

Comments
he is the ex boyfriend we were never married.  (Last changed: February 26, 2006)

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Post #  00000628
Re: [The Mother's] Response
From: 
Remote Name: 69.10.102.168

Comments
I know you want to hear two sides to every story but in asking his you will get a very twisted version of the truth, what ever best suites his needs and makes him look good, which is why I wrote on this message board in the first place. Imagine joking around one day on your computer and GOOGLE your name and a headline pops up missing kids, you click on it and read an article posted on a message board that is false, when you try to tell people on the message board that they attack you. I know what happened I was there, if you would like to know what the courts say, we lived in Fargo, ND and the court records are at the court house there. Like I also said before, the ONLY person on the paternal side that thinks there is a problem is their father. His parents get pictures of the kids, have sent christmas gifts, and get updated frequently on how the kids are, they dont have a problem with this at all, and have voiced they are glad we are out of the situation we were in. If I was doing all of these horrible things more people than one would have a problem. Joe might think he has been wronged but dont let him fool you, he had too many chances to count to be a father, he didnt. Other than that I guess good luck to you all and I hope that all gets resolved for you   (Last changed: February 26, 2006)

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Post # 00000629
Re: [The Mother's] Response
From: 
Remote Name: 24.117.44.16

Comments
I dont see my kids because Allison ran off to Arizona, she needed someone to support her, so her parents seem to suit her needs...When she lived here all she did was drink and have sex with random people...The kids were always with someone else...she then was evicted from a house her dad's friend owned for partying with the kids around...and then evicted again, along the way trying to commit suicide a couple times cause a friend of hers didnt want to take her to homecoming, When the Sherriffs department tried to get ahold of her, following up on reports of neglect, also filed by someone I DONT know, and whom she lived with "they too must be lying" she took off to where she could be safe   (Last changed: February 26, 2006)

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Post # 00000634
Re: [The Mother's] Response
From: ddsd1104@aol.com
Remote Name: 64.12.117.10

Comments
I am not god nor a counselor......but one thing I know for certain is adults need to put the bickering aside and let the children grow up knowing each parent......I have been through almost 21 years of this and it gets worse over time not better.....for the sake of the children be civil and make the best of what was bad..........the children suffer greatly when they dont get to see mom and dad......and mom hiding the children in Arizona is a crime.....so your saying he is bad does what your doing that is criminally wrong make you an unfit parent?....seriously........learn to agree to disagree and let the children prosper.....dont make the children pawns in your chess game....a word to the wise....custodial interference can land a parent in jail as quick as non payment..if you have no order stating he is not to see those children....you in fact are breaking the law.....   (Last changed: February 26, 2006)

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Post #  00000637
Re: [The Mother's] Response
From: AMDICOLA
Remote Name: 69.10.122.88

Comments
As a fact I am not breaking the law, I have lawyers down here, he has no legal right at this time to see the children, and as for the kids being better off with both parents I say again you were not around for what when one when Joe was involved in their lives. My children dont know him or remember him, he did not take an active part in their lives when he did have the chance, these children have a dad that does take care of them and help and is a father in every sense of the word, just because Joe donated his genetic material does not make him a fit father. You make it sound to as if I am hiding in AZ, I will say AGAIN the father's family and I are in contact all the time, they know how the kids are doing and if they are safe, the only one who has a problem on the paternal side is Joe. And he only makes a fuss on this discussion board because you are they only ones who will listen to his bs sob story, everyone else knows he made his bed and now has to lay in it. On another note for those questioning proof on things, I just recieved a letter from ND child support, they are taking Joe to court for non payment, The file is: civil file [# removed by webmaster]. Look it up and see. He is telling all of you he is paying child support than why are they taking him to court for failure to pay?  (Last changed: February 26, 2006)

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Post # 00000640
Re: [The Mother's] Response
From: reevaluation
Remote Name: 64.12.117.10

Comments
This is the worst case of PAS I have seen be this blatant... dont reevaluate your your thoughts do the bad Joe a favor remain the way you are and let him file for custody based on your actions......you want him out of their lives prove him unfit....it is time to put up or shut up.....and why should anyone ask him to prove he is a bad guy?......he admitted he was wrong......more than we can say your willing to admit....you wont provide proof he has no rights to his children....you say you dont want his money......but yet your happy to let him go to jail again for support issues you say you dont want...your violating the law if you dont have an order to change domicile and he has the right to take action against you for it....why put yourself in a position of breaking the law?....why not use those attorneys to do it correctly?..I only suggest that both of you seek attorneys as you know not the trouble you are causing for yourself........Joe do yourself a favor print and save everything she has said on here.....she needs to be told by a judge what is legal......while you dont like the idea Joe is their father....and he does have rights till a court removes them. it takes guts to write things about yourself in a public forum that are not good and I say to Joe keep admitting your wrongs but move forward and dont let her beat you down.......make mistakes and learn from them we all do....yours have been tough ones but make something of yourself now prove her wrong for your children. as for child support Joe if she did not get an order to leave the state with the children file to reserve your support until your children are returned to the state of record. All court orders are public record so getting a copy would be easy if in fact one exists.   (Last changed: February 26, 2006)

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Post # 00000648
Re: [The Mother's] Response
From: Milwaukee Dad
Remote Name: 69.210.129.101

Comments
[to the mother]: Isn't funny how one lie has to lead to another and another- and pretty soon the truth is lost and the lie becomes the truth to that person. The truth stands the test of time. A honest person can look at themselves in the morning in the mirror- they smile or /be very sad but they still look- put their shoes on and start their day. Running/hiding from the truth is like a little rabbit hiding in their hole hoping the hawk (truth) doesn't find them. The rabbit starts their day out hoping for no hawk but can't help but to keep looking out their hole looking and looking- by the time they realize that they been doing this the whole day, another day has passed them bye. This goes on and on for the rabbit, but the truth (hawk) waits at a distance- and the little rabbit knows this- so the rabbit continues on day in and day out. I could go on but you get my point, just tell the truth, and you can come out and begin to enjoy life and live the best one you can. Life is to short to live in a hole. Besides your doing it to the kids also. I hope you have legal counsel because if you don't have a order to move. And if you and they are saying don't worry about it, they don't have to pay the price- YOU DO!!!!!  (Last changed: February 26, 2006)

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Post # 00000649
Re: [The Mother's] Response
From: reply to milwaukee dad
Remote Name: 152.163.101.9

Comments
I love the analogy....but we can only wonder will she get the idea?....I find it strange that she will not provide proof...is it in fact because she cannot provide it?...sad but Joe and the children are victims here if she cannot prove her allegations........I find it repulsive to think some parents think that using the children to support their anger and or hurt is in any way correct.
(Last changed: February 26, 2006)

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Post # 00000650
Re: [The Mother's] Response
From: Milwaukee Dad
Remote Name: 69.210.129.101

Comments
Hi Everyone: Well research pays off, Ms. [The Mother] has no legal right to remove the kids from ND and Joe, fact I believe that she has committed a class C felony!!!!!!!!!!! and her parents are hiding her so they are harboring a felon. Which puts them in the wrong!!!!! And claiming them on taxes if they did, the IRS wants them too!!!!!! :)   (Last changed: February 26, 2006)

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Post #  00000698 
Re: [The Mother's] Response
From: ditto
Remote Name: 68.98.77.234

Comments
This sounds like a repeated story, but unfortunately it's true. The "fathers" want to come out in the good, even when they have not done any. Keep your children safe. Prayers to you.  (Last changed: February 26, 2006)

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Post # 00000780
Re: [The Mother's] Response
From: ditto is DUMB
Remote Name: 205.188.117.133

Comments
This coming from a alienator , you people need true mental help. No stable relationships, no stable minds, yet you think your right now we know your crazy the proof is in....anyone wishing to hear recorded lies from ditto contact me. Yes she lies to a judge and whoever else is dumb enough to listen.  (Last changed: February 26, 2006)

 

 

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