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Miscellaneous Posts about Alienated Children and Parents Page 1

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Post # 000004a9
Re: she's hiding and says the kids are happy with their new daddy...
From: ValGal
Remote Name: 67.171.149.190

Comments
You will have to track her down by her social security number if nothing else. If she has applied for credit of any kind anywhere, she will have had to leave a paper trail and it's all tied to SSN. A credit report would show an address, I believe. I believe you could obtain this information because you are still legally married (I think, trying to remember what you wrote). You can even get these on the internet (cost around $25). Then to contact her, send certified mail where she has to hand-sign for it (check with the post office), that way you'll know for sure she got the mail. Once you start proceedings against her, if she takes the kids without informing you of their location, she can get in big trouble. Look into what's called a Status Quo order to see if that would help you until your issues are resolved. If you can't afford an attorney, you at least need to get some family law material from Amazon or whatever that is specific to the state you live in. Check on the internet divorce/family law sites. At the very least, after you draw up your court papers, get an attorney to take a look to make sure you haven't missed anything, it is easy to do (miss something) and you could put yourself in a bad spot for a long time if you missed anything. You say you can't afford an attorney now but if your ex goes on like she is, you will be glad you paid for an attorney now, trust me. Also, see what materials your local court system has on mediation, etc. Your best defense is a good offense, find out as much as you can so you can put your best foot forward and optimize your odds of settling this issue. And make sure you behave too because she can use things against you too if you don't!     (Last changed: February 26, 2006)

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Post # 000004b9
Any Ideas?
From: TDRYE
Remote Name: 68.34.104.41

Comments
Details are not really important because we all know exactly what happens in the worse cases. But, when the custodial parent totally alienates a child and money runs out.....and the child suffers terribly....what is a parent to do? Forget the child? Of course not. But, without money what can be done? Are there ANY attorneys that will help? I would give my kidney if I could. What can be done? Please help.  (Last changed: February 26, 2006 )

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Post # 000004c9
Re: reality--This needs to stop!
From: L L Wagner
Remote Name: 64.136.26.235

Comments
I have read your post, and noticed the last change was made during this year. I hope that you will see this post. In your post, you have answered questions that I had. I went through a form of alienation - conducted by my step-grandmother. I was able to not believe her. My dad, (technically my stepfather), did believe her, and devalued my mother's concerns, and turned on me due to my step-grandmother's lies. This changed years later. My daughter has been going through extreme and obsessive PAS. I am sick and tired of what the "system' has laid out for everybody with the non-help and some times supporting the PAS problems to continue. I am ready to be active for legal and "professional" change. Please email me so we could keep in touch. Please hang in there with your own situation. It may feel slow, but things do get better... llcain@anotherworldportal.com
(Last changed: February 26, 2006)

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Post # 000004ca
Re: Have been in this for a long time
From: 
Remote Name: 64.136.26.235

Comments
My daughter is now 14. Pas. Alienated parents are not at fault. Keep reasurring your love towards your grown up children. At some point, if you keep constant contact, they will break down and open up. Then you can all heal a little more. Sometimes, the pain that we endure in our lives, can help us achieve helpful things. There are many who takes anger from a situation and transposes it into a burning motivation to ensure changes for a majority. I have seen a website for motivational style "therapy" for those who have been through PAS. I think they are called soulworks. Sometimes "motivational" classes/groups, (all depending) can help individuals on their life path. I, too, have unfinished business from years ago, and trying to accomplish my unfinished business is not always easy. Sure, the grief and pain has a tendancy to say "hello" from time to time, but everytime it does, I use the pain to motivate myself to go back on track and "finish what the alienators never wanted me to finish - not to let them hold me down." Always take a deep breath and then smile. Things do go forward and get better. Please feel free to email me. - Lynn llcain@anotherworldportal.com   (Last changed: February 26, 2006)

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Post # 00000477
father abroad
From: john r
Remote Name: 203.199.94.213

Comments
am divorced, have lost contact with my 2 elder children , guess why?, am trying desperatly to keep contact with my 11 year old son, am back in the uk in september, and have written to my ex asking that i be allowed to see my son,, can anyone advise what my rights are?, and how to get them   (Last changed: February 26, 2006)

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Post #  0000048b
future concerns
From: hopeful and scared
Remote Name: 24.215.80.135

Comments
After seven years of denial of access, false accusations, NS family court ordered a full custody assesment. Very much in our favour, but identifying the problems the kids have. So much that I would like to know, and talk about. Self represented in court and worried about what to do next.  (Last changed: February 26, 2006)

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Post #  00000451
The System
From: Michael
Remote Name: 68.105.192.99

Comments
Is there a forum for fathers who wish to opt out of the biased system? To date I have lost my car and after today [a court date where the judge told me: "Unfortunately, some people go into bankrupt making their child support payments. Family Law dictates that support payments supercede all other bills." My EXWIFE is on strike with the grocery clerks union and I was terminated at my last place of employ in October 2003. I was seeking to have the support order reduced to a reasonable level. They used her strike wages [$125 per week] to run the Dissomaster. My income at the moment is less than $2,000 per month. There is no choice for me. She lives with a boyfriend who pays the bills. After paying the support order I will have less than $1,000 per month to live on. Is there a place where fathers assist each other in beating the system? Cooperating with the system has brought me to this. It's time for a change. Contact me offlist: plundered@hotmail.com Thank you.  (Last changed: February 26, 2006)

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Post # 00000583
PAS and Dr. Lohstroh's death
From: Help Stop PAS
Remote Name: 68.203.131.198

Comments
If you have not heard about how PAS led to a 10 year old child murdering his father please visit www.helpstoppas.com. 
(Last changed: February 26, 2006)

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Post #  00000535
Re: alienation from children from non parent party
From: .v.
Remote Name: 209.145.197.75

Comments
Dear Parents, I too have had alienation occurr from a non-parent. A god-mother. You will get support from the Parent Alienation Syndrome Support Group at the Rachel Foundation on the internet, and also contact the growing community of activists, therapists and lawyers who may be reached thru the web and the subject. Dean Tong is the celebrity lawyer who often deals with false accusations and was just on Dr. Phil a few days ago. Very few people, as you probably are experiencing , are either familiar or sympathetic. The AA sponsor who has "rescued " your children has violated the ethical standard of AA but my be seen as heroic anyway. As you are aware of the term obsessive alienator you are familiar enough with the concept to apply it. Know, whomever you accuse or try to find fault with will allign with the alienator. If child protective services are involved you are ensnared even farther, as CPS so easily becomes the alienator. Write to the governor of your state and the Ombudsman who deals with the Department of Economic Security in your state. There are Family Advocates and all kinds of people who swear they are out to protect you. Keep politely but insistantly reaching through the beaurocracy over the phone or the mail or the internet until enough of them contact each other and realize you are a rock that will not be moved. It doesn't matter if you are disabled, crazy or a recovering addict ,all the more reason for you to be a poster success story for them. Even though they make the most money takeing children away they do have to return children to families who have complied . There is an epidemic of family dissolution. That's what I am coming to understand. You must consider it a part of your recovery to both pursue and surrender. They ask me to do such contradictory things, YOU can't believe it. I'm not supposed to be worried enough about my child to seek to know how she is doing and I'm not supposed to ignore her, but I'm supposed to express the appropriate concern. Well, they haven't let me see her in four months and the foster family tells her she never has to come back, because they are not real foster parents and don't know they are supposed to encourage her to come home. And I'm suppposed to go to anger management and be happy.... Just like in addiction we knew what we were doing was not the ideal way to live but we justified it to experience the connectedness that drugs provide, We now have to live another kind of contradiction: the one where we know it is not ideal to believe the system but we are justified in pursuing our sobriety to feel the promise of connectedness to our children that we sacrificed before. Keep being reasonable in the face of the most unreasonable and impossible odds. Find a lawyer with in or without the system that will help you. So many people have been thru rehab and want to have faith in others. Pursue. Even if you have to wait until your children are grown until they know how much you wanted them (and I know that this is awful to hear but you have to be willing to not give up for that long) and when they are free sooner or later you will be able to proove to them how much you tried. That will mean everything to them. Quick go now to the Rachel Foundation site and read what some of the other parents say. They let you read awhile before introducing yourselves. IT's great that you have remained together. All Best. V    (Last changed: February 26, 2006)

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Post # 00000511
Re: Question
From: Terri
Remote Name: 68.186.12.187

Comments
It took about 4 months, I didn't call her since I won't call his house, but I sent gifts and cards to her saying I loved her. Never mentioning any problems between us. One was a black and white picture of me holding her when she was 5 mos. old. She was looking up at me with such love in it. So I sent her the picture and wrote a short poem of how nothing she could ever do could make me stop loving her, and I make NO mention of her Dad when I speak to her.(They get enough of that about us from the ones who are mental abusing them, by trying to keep them away.) She invited me to her high school graduation. It was beautiful. I just Hug her and tell her how great it is to see her. She is remembering my love and protection for her as a young girl again. She calls me quite often. She never moved back home, but she is understanding that she made a mistake listening to his lies and his being the big buddy. She is getting into recovery a bit now. I hope you and your daughter can hug again soon. It's so important.   (Last changed: February 26, 2006)

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Post # 00000575
Re: Harrassment from Ex Wife
From: krisnmel511@aol.com
Remote Name: 205.188.117.8

Comments
this is incredible, i was just researching exparte's to see if there were any tips and came across your story. my story is almost identical to yours. a vengeful ex wife lied through her teeth in court and they bought it, and revoked all my parental and legal rights, and suspended visitations on nothing but allegations..my four kids have made it perfectly clear they never wanted to live with their mother, they want to be with me. i have conducted a investigation with a private investigator and found since she has had custody since june 2004 there are 19 911 calls. the kids alledge mom punches them, throws things at them, threatens to send them to foster homes. social services has been notifed several times.the kids are there to provide a meal ticket for her, nothing more.. the kids are suffering greatly, the latest incident was last night, my ex wife destroyed my 15 yr old daughter's room with paint. all of her clothes were ruined... she did this in retaliation of my daughter destroying notes that my ex wife had been keeping concerning taped conversations between me and my kids. Your right.. the system makes it nearly impossible to get any justice for the children, but i like you am not giving up.    (Last changed: February 26, 2006)

 

 

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