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Caretakers Regret Hurting and Alienating a Child

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Original
Post # 00000013
Can this be committed by a girlfriend of the divorced dad?
From: A woman with regret
Date: 5/6/00
Time: 12:26:07 AM
Remote Name: 152.163.204.184

Comments
I love children, and I have never before hurt any child or could even fanthom that I could ever do so. However, a week ago, I was sad and felt my privacy betrayed by something that my boyfriend had done. Immediately, I committed what seems to be a form of "active parental alienation" against his ex-wife!

Even though I am not his mother, I usually have total respect my boyfriend's son. I don't understand what happened to me because deep down, I know that I never wanted to hurt the child. A part of me, thought that he had left the room, but a part of me probably knew that he was there. 

In proving my "loss of privacy" issue with my boyfriend, I shouted at him about whether his son knew that his ex was a "prostitute" who had cheated on him. For some stupid reason, I wanted to think that the son wouldn't hear or understand. 

I was immediately kicked out of the house by my then boyfriend. His son hates me now. His father (my now ex-boyfriend) explained to the son (10 yrs. old) that his mother may have cheated on him, but then said that he doesn't believe this is true. My boyfriend (now my ex) is the one that told me that it happened, but it appears to the child that I made it up.

I am so embarassed, and I regret having caused so much damage. However, I have never done anything so horrible. I wanted to kill myself for at least two days, and I still can't stop throwing up. I am so ashamed at what happened. My boyfriend and I were so in love, but now he thinks that I viciously hurt his child on purpose. He thinks that I wanted to hurt his child when his child was (unfortunately) the furthest thing on my mind - like he didn't exist. 

This is the only time that this has ever happened, but what should I do. I normally am always thinking in the child's best interest and worry about his happiness. I always felt like the child's protector and ally along with my boyfriend - like, when his ex plays emotionally mind games with the child. It's strange for me because I never had a chance to like the ex, since my boyfriend always tells me about the pain that she puts him and his son through over & over. It makes me protective of my boyfriend and the child. However, we always cover up for her & don't really let the child see her do anything hurtful towards him. She (ex) has even bad-mouthed me in front of my boyfriend, his son and his mom before, which I guess I had resented for a long, time, but kept bottled up. I feel so bad, but I have no chance at redemption now that this happened. What do you think of my actions, my boyfriend's actions, and what will happen to this boy? I apologized to my boyfriend (who is torn), but should I just leave & not apologize to the son. Thank you - this is my first time writing to a message board.

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