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Ex and stepmom's attempt at alienation

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Post #  000004a2
Ex and stepmom's attempt at alienation
From: Janjonmead
Remote Name: 64.12.116.66

Comments
My ex-husband and I have been divorced for ten years. We are both remarried. In the past year, he has taken a very active role in alienating two of my five children. The two I am speaking about have decided they don't like my rules. My daughter (15) left five months ago and refuses to talk to me (no calls both Mother's Day and my birthday) and my son (13) left last Friday. I have a 11, 17 and 18 year old (all boys) at home with me. This is tearing my family apart. I don't know what to do. Does anyone have any advice? The children who are with me are very angry at their siblings and their Dad and stepmom which isn't a good situation. I have never talked badly in front of the kids about their dad, but my sons tell me that the ex and stepmom are always talking about my husband and I and how unreasonable we are. I have even waived child support because he threatened to take me to court for custody. (His payments were minimum-$188.00 a week for five kids, this he has been paying the last 6 years-it's not worth it) Please help. My son at his dad's did call and wished me a happy birthday and said he is coming home in a couple of weeks (I think he wants to have a rule-free summer) but my daughter hates me. Please help. My heart is breaking.  (Last changed: February 26, 2006)

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REPLIES:

Post # 000004b1
Re: Ex and stepmom's attempt at alienation
From: ValGal
Remote Name: 67.171.149.190

Comments
He can threaten to take you to court to try to get custody all he wants...from what I've read, it is EXTREMELY difficult to change custody, he would have to prove you unfit in some way...if he can't do that, you have a good chance of retaining custody...he sounds like a bully, just like my ex and his wife, they thrive on intimidating me (trying to, anyway)...a custody evaluation would likely reveal the truth of your situation (his attempting to alienate the kids from you), so you would have that going in your favor, too...courts look highly on parents who are willing to let their kids continue their relationship with the OTHER parent  (Last changed: February 26, 2006 )

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Post # 000004b2
Re: Ex and stepmom's attempt at alienation
From: ValGal
Remote Name: 67.171.149.190

Comments
As far as the kids go, just let your kids continue to vent...find them a counselor or neutral party they can vent to if necessary, it will help them work through things...and above all, let them know you love them NO MATTER WHAT...if they won't talk to you on the phone, send a card or letter...it's heartbreaking to not be in touch, but until they're ready to "make nice" again, the messages you send them will stick with them...they need to hear that you love them even if they act like they don't care  (Last changed: February 26, 2006)

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Post #  000004b8
Re: Ex and stepmom's attempt at alienation
From: 
Remote Name: 152.163.253.99

Comments
My daughter and I were in counseling. She refused to go a few times and the GAL told her if she didn't go voluntarily then he would order it. She would go to counseling with me and not come up with any solid reasons why she left. The last counseling session she didn't show up. Her dad called 5 minutes before they were supposed to be there and said she wasn't coming, that she didn't want to. I told the counselor that she probably should meet with Molly by herself. I don't know what the outcome was. GAL hasn't talked to me in a month. Last time I spoke to him he was positive that this was all going to work out. (That was after no phone call on Mother's Day) Each day I wake up and she is the first thing on my mind. I don't understand the hatred. I was always a good mom. My heart is actually breaking, I can feel it. Is there any hope?   (Last changed: February 26, 2006)

 

 

 

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