Posts from former Discussion pages 

Parental Alienation by fathers, page 1.
(Young adult sons alienated from Mother)

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Post #  000006f9
Young adult sons alienated from Mother
From: Hopeful Mom
Remote Name: 212.179.135.94

Comments
My sons are age 20 and 25, and they have been alienated from me for 3 years. (I have been separated for over 2 years, but still no divorce.)  One lives with his father, and does not speak to me at all. The older one is married, but does not allow me to see my granddaughter. One other son does visit me, on his own. I don't know if or when they will ever come back to me. Even though they are adult-age, they are still afraid to go against their father's "orders". Is anyone else in a similar situation?    (Last changed: February 26, 2006)

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REPLIES:

Post # 000006fa
Re: Young adult sons alienated from Mother
From: mtndad
Remote Name: 66.44.192.186

Comments
I'm in a very similar situation, no contact with my adult children or grandchildren. It's a very painful situation, and I imagine it's even more painful for you as a mother. My sympathy and prayers are with you more than you can know. I don't have any really good advice. Do whatever you can to take care of YOURSELF! I'm doing my best to "let go", although it's not often easy. As much as we hope, we have no control over the behaviors of others. Don't blame yourself.  (Last changed: February 26, 2006 )

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Post # 000006fd
Re: Young adult sons alienated from Mother
From: Hopeful Mom
Remote Name: 212.179.135.94

Comments
Thanks for your words of support. I do my best to Let Go, to take care of myself, and to build myself a new life. Despite all the pain, I do not regret for a minute the step that I made, when I moved out. So I hold on to Hope, though I know it's not in my hands to "fix" the situation.  (Last changed: February 26, 2006)

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Post #  000006fe
Re: Young adult sons alienated from Mother
From: mom who lost daughters
Remote Name: 150.142.236.21

Comments
yes i am in a similar sit, and have not seen my daughters or spoke to them in 2 years, and the wounds are deep, and i feel so empty .    (Last changed: February 26, 2006)

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Post # 00000704 
Re: Young adult sons alienated from Mother
From: Van C. Sher
Remote Name: 68.80.253.177

Comments
This is very common. Laws have tried to be passed in many stats including Pa and Ca to force the visitation issue. AIN'T gonna happen! Just do your best with the one son and if he talks to the other, things will eventually change, but it will be slooooow.   (Last changed: February 26, 2006)

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Post #  00000717  
Re: Young adult sons alienated from Mother
From: Young daughters alienated from Mother
Remote Name: 150.142.239.63

Comments
i feel like my soul is lost...  (Last changed: February 26, 2006)

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Post # 00000725  
Re: Young adult sons alienated from Mother
From: miracleme7@yahoo.com
Remote Name: 209.139.23.152

Comments
this is so hard. my only child is a girl, 18- & has cut me completely out of her life since he came back into it 1 yr ago. the grief & loss is unbearable.    (Last changed: February 26, 2006)

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Post #  00000728  
Re: Young adult sons alienated from Mother
From: miracleme7@yahoo.cm
Remote Name: 209.139.23.152

Comments
thank you so much for your kind words. they mean more than you can ever know (or, maybe that's not true- you probably do know). It is so hard to just let her go & focus on me when everything is so, so wrong, & he's dangerous & she's with him & she's 18 & so beautiful & he's a sick, controlling sexual predator. it's all so ugly, but daily prayer for her is all I can do at this time, & trying hard to let go & take care of me. Hope you are doing the same. I will pray for you, too.   (Last changed: February 26, 2006)

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Post # 00000731  
Re: Young adult sons alienated from Mother
From: Hopeful Mom
Remote Name: 212.179.135.94

Comments
Thanks for your words of support and encouragement. I realize that this is not a legal issue, since all 3 sons are over age 20. After 3 years of resisting contact with my parents, their grandparents, they have finally gotten together with them for the first time! That gives me hope that eventually they will make contact with me, too - or that someday I will be able to have a relationship with my baby granddaughter!   (Last changed: February 26, 2006)

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Post # 00000734 
Re: Young adult sons alienated from Mother
From: Hopeful Mom
Remote Name: 212.179.135.94

Comments
What I have learned in this "Journey" is to find my own soul. It does not "replace" my children; but it does enable me to go on, building my life. I do not understand why Higher Power's will is for my children to lose their mother, right now. But I do believe that at least I have learned to love and accept myself - and that I have been strengthened and forged, by going through this furnace. It's not easy, but you can do it. CHOOSE LIFE!  (Last changed: February 26, 2006)

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Post # 00000736
Re: Young adult sons alienated from Mother
From: young daughters alienated from mother
Remote Name: 150.142.236.217

Comments
yes, i feel your pain, and i need to move on. but it is too difficult. i can't go through my life not seeing my girls grow up and have families, etc. the loss is too great...i don't care what everyone hear says, i will never get over it and feel no reason to be hear, if i can't be a mother than what is there left. i have no family or support group, friends don't understand and i don't wish to share this with co workers. have been to therapy and did absolutely nothing for me. the loss is there. and can never be replaced. good luck to all   (Last changed: February 26, 2006)

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Post # 00000738
Re: Young adult sons alienated from Mother
From: chose life, good advise
Remote Name: 150.142.236.217

Comments
for those who feel they cannot go on,,,think about it, how can we go on everyday thinking about this, it is hell. have we been sentenced to hell?????   (Last changed: February 26, 2006)

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Post # 00000754
Re: Young adult sons alienated from Mother
From: Hopeful Mom
Remote Name: 212.179.135.94

Comments
I know that the pain is terrible; but I also know that I had to leave my husband in order to escape the emotional abuse, and to save my own life. It took me alot of therapy to get to the point where I feel that I deserve to live. And knowing that, I have never regretted my decision. Of course I miss them terribly; but I also feel compassion for them, since they have to live their lives without their mother. In the beginning I could not accept that Higher Power could allow something like this to happen. Today (2 1/2 years since I moved out) I do accept it more; yet I also hope that "someday" they will go through their own process, and find the strength and courage to go against their father's brain-washing. You deserve to live, too. G-d be with you.    (Last changed: February 26, 2006)

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Post #  00000755
Re: Young adult sons alienated from Mother
From: Hopeful Mom
Remote Name: 212.179.135.94

Comments
I feel like everything that I have been through has been part of a Process, to help me become who I am today - much healthier, stronger, more self-esteem than I ever had before. And I also feel that I have been through a furnace - but I think of it as the place where steel becomes forged! Or a worthless lump of clay becomes ceramics, or porcelain, or even china! Hang in there!  (Last changed: February 26, 2006)

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Post # 00000757
Re: Young adult sons alienated from Mother
From: Joanna
Remote Name: 4.253.68.140

Comments
Yes , I'm growing through this ! And it hurts! BAD ....  (Last changed: February 26, 2006)

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Post # 00000863
Re: Young adult sons alienated from Mother
From: Plumeriaroma@aol.com
Remote Name: 207.200.116.201

Comments
Yes, I'm another bleeding heart, and for 8 years now. All of our stories are pretty much the same, just different dynamics. The pain can feel overwhelming sometimes. I'll never give up, and await the day this crime is recognized and punished. Take care...    (Last changed: February 26, 2006)

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Post # 0000072e
Re: Young adult sons alienated from Mother
From: snuz2luz
Remote Name: 152.163.100.197

Comments
your daughter was exactly the same age as mine when she left being bribed by the ex with his cash and brainwashing. It's been 3 years now and everyone tells me how miserable she is, but she's also very stubborn and determined to make it on her own..........that is with the help of dad's money paying for her college. Little does she know that he's spending her money to pay for it and she'll soon be out 50k...........that's right!!!!!  (Last changed: February 26, 2006)

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Post # 0000074d
Re: Young adult sons alienated from Mother
From: Young daughters alienated from Mother
Remote Name: 150.142.233.178

Comments
i feel your pain, and it does feel like an oven. i am burning, does that mean we are going to hell? why ?  (Last changed: February 26, 2006)

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Post #  0000077e
Re: Young adult sons alienated from Mother
From: Another CA Mom
Remote Name: 24.205.238.209

Comments
Yeah, it all seemed so cosmic (as I distracted myself from reality).....it's called dissociation. It's a coping defense mechanism. It only keeps the pain at bay. A way of rationalizing the injustice, the ugliness, the fact that the laws are inadequate, the fact that no one has the time or really even cares. I really believed that the truth would prevail. Guess what? It doesn't. What a crappy world I brought my children into...unless I singlehandedly fight city hall to make it different. Or die trying.   (Last changed: February 26, 2006)

 

 

 

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