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Father alienating kids from Mother

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Post #   000006ea
Father alienating kids from Mother
From: CA Mom
Remote Name: 70.183.73.16

Comments
I hope someone can give me some advice. My ex husband was recently given temporary custody of our 2 younger children. Prior to that we had been in a bitter custody battle which has been going on since 1999. The reversal of custody has destroyed my life and now everytime I call the kids or try to talk to them they act like its a bother. I feel like I am totally losing them. My ex husband doesn't work, has never paid support, owes me 20 grand and now is asking for 1800 a month from me! I feel like my whole world is crumbling. The sad thing is that it has divided my two oldest daughters 18 and 20, one supports his side the other mine. My ex husband abused me for 13 years and that is why I left. When the temporary order was made the judge wouldn't let me say a word. He just read the statements from others and made a decision. I didn't even get to respond. I have spent over 20 grand already for just the first year and have had to represent my self for the last 5. Any ideas to help me get my children back. I miss them sooo much.!   (Last changed: February 26, 2006)

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REPLIES:

Post # 000006eb
Re: Father alienating kids from Mother
From: snuz2luz
Remote Name: 205.188.116.197

Comments
Yes, hire a lawyer no matter what the cost and make sure your side gets represented and your voice is heard. The judge was out of line. I had a judge that was similar and one wonders if money was exchanged if you get my drift!!!!!!!  (Last changed: February 26, 2006 )

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Post #  000006ec
Re: Father alienating kids from Mother
From: i share your pain
Remote Name: 150.142.233.98

Comments
i have been through the same exact experience. and right now i feel like im dying. how do we go on???  (Last changed: February 26, 2006)

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Post #  000006ef
Re: Father alienating kids from Mother
From: ive been there, and it has ruined my life`, mom who lost
Remote Name: 150.142.232.220

Comments
i feel your pain....   (Last changed: February 26, 2006)

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Post #  00000707 
Re: Father alienating kids from Mother
From: Van C. Sher
Remote Name: 68.80.253.177

Comments
Go to three or four of the best family attorney's in the county where jusisdiction is set. Ask them for subsidy help and find a good detctive and feed him places to go and where to video actions that you find detrimental to the kids. Also, kids are kids, not adults- out of sight , out of mind!   (Last changed: February 26, 2006)

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Post # 00000715
Re: Father alienating kids from Mother
From: janni
Remote Name: 194.70.27.242

Comments
you have my sympathy.  I have had a very similar experience......just never give up on your daughters......write to them, txt them, tell them about your day to day life [keep it light hearted] tell them always how much you love and care about them, how proud you are of them and how much you miss them......if they are at school or college contact the school and see if they will help you mediate......always send 'special day cards' ie 'i was going through some photographs last night and this photo made me smile etc etc etc....always remeber birthdays and special events no matter how sad you are........I have been estranged from my two daughters for 9 months after a long and vindictive campaign against me by their father, they simply are not allowed to like me because that is a betrayal to him and his cause......just never never give up.......I know I wont.   (Last changed: February 26, 2006)

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Post # 00000729 
Re: Father alienating kids from Mother
From: thank you for your support
Remote Name: 150.142.236.47

Comments
it makes me feel a little better to know that im not the only one....was your husband narcissitic? did you have an abusive marriage?  (Last changed: February 26, 2006)

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Post #  00000732
Re: Father alienating kids from Mother
From: Hopeful Mom
Remote Name: 212.179.135.94

Comments
I was in an emotionally abusive relationship - and the alienation is just the continuation of that. He wanted Control then, and he still wants it. He rules The Family, like the Mafia, and only one son is healthy enough to think for himself, and to stand up for his own ideas. He abuses our sons, emotionally, just like he abused me. They are adult age, and should be able to think things through rationally; but with this issue, they are brainwashed.    (Last changed: February 26, 2006)

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Post #  00000737
Re: Father alienating kids from Mother
From: father alienating daughters from mother
Remote Name: 150.142.236.217

Comments
yes, i share the same here, he was abusive,, and won in court. current court ordered therapist has told my daughter is is "ok"not to see or have contact with me....any feedback please.  (Last changed: February 26, 2006)

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Post #  00000740
Re: Father alienating kids from Mother
From: CA Mom 
Remote Name: 68.210.41.66

Comments
I understand, I have court ordered phone visits and he never has them available. It amazes me that these judges don't see through the bull, they tell us abused women to get away from these men and then it seems that the manipulation begins to the court system, then the file gets so big the judge doesn't look throught the distant past, only the recent, my ex had positive drug screens, meth, and still got custody, i don't do drugs, never did but still lost. go figure... i just moved so they considered that unstable. I moved to work make better money, he doesn't work, never did, grows marijuana. but in California I guess thats ok.   (Last changed: February 26, 2006)

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Post #  00000753
Re: Father alienating kids from Mother
From: mom who lost in court
Remote Name: 150.142.236.114

Comments
you are so right, i have been thru this too...i too changed jobs, worked two jobs while i had custody to make ends meet and the judge viewed as unstable. only changed jobs to make more money. had attorney, but judge was bias, he sided with my ex. New york state family court.   (Last changed: February 26, 2006)

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Post #  000007c4
Re: Father alienating kids from Mother
From: nancm.com
Remote Name: 71.0.156.174

Comments
I feel your pain also! Please visit www.nancm.com for more emotional support! Hundreds of Mothers Without Custody with big shoulders to cry on and even bigger hearts. Hope to see you there!  (Last changed: February 26, 2006)

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Post #  00000b32
Re: Father alienating kids from Mother
From: missionman_uk67@hotmail.co.uk
Remote Name: 195.92.168.166

Comments
hi im sorry to hear it .im one of the lucky ones .or am i here we go by the woman saying again she was beating up and all sorts . i really get sick and tiered of this just lets say my ex wife said same about me but judge seen right through her and i got custody of my son and she has not to get no where near him . why do women always use ie i was beating up as a excuse im sick of it. what my wife should have said and told the truth [was i was having an affair and my 8 year old caught me . instead she wanted to shift the blame on to me by saying i beat her for 24 years .[yes 24 years not days or weeks ] 24 years . so really i think now dads are getting a better deal now as judges are fed up with lies .  (Last changed: February 26, 2006)

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Post #  0000072a
Re: Father alienating kids from Mother
From: CA Mom
Remote Name: 68.18.5.156

Comments
yes, my ex was physically and mentally abusive, since i left the physical abuse has stopped but he has perpetuated his mental abuse through the courts...i miss my kids and call them as often as i can...i won't give up...they will always know that i love them.  (Last changed: February 26, 2006)

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Post #  (Last changed: February 26, 2006)

 

 

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