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Teenage Daughter Chooses to Live with DAD

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Post #   00000452
Teenage daughter decides she wants to live with dad
From: 
Remote Name: 198.174.212.249

Comments
It hurts so bad!! When my daughter turned 16 she chose to live with her father. Last week he called and asked if she could stay with me for 2 weeks while he went on vacation, and I said of course, I would love that. When I called her to find out when she was coming, she had kind of a pouty voice, I asked her when she was coming and she said something like "after school, not sure what time", then I told her I wanted her home right after school so I knew where she was, she sounded like she was going to cry by the end of our conversation, I asked her if she needed to talk about anything and what was wrong, she said no and nothing. It bothered me, so I called back to find out what was going on, and her Dad said she didn't want to stay with me. Then her Dad & I had a few choice words and he said he can see why she doesn't want to stay with me and said he would find someone else to watch her, and hung up. I cryed and cryed, I was so looking forward to spending some time with her. My husband tried to comfort me by saying that she just doesn't want the disipline and that is why she manipulates her father like that. She has him so twisted around her little finger and he can't see it. She is controlling him. Is there anything I can do, or say to help her with these teenage years. She's out of control. She admits to me that she likes living with her dad because she can do what she wants. She has her own car and drives everywhere (her dad lets her charge all the gas she needs to his account) She has wrecked it a few times and her dad just keeps fixing it and I tell him to let her take the reponsibilty for once. She needs some guidance. I'm so scared she's going to get hurt one of these times. She has been using alcohol & drugs and has started having sex. She has some bad mood swings. One day shes happy go lucky and will stay and visit awhile, the next day she turns into a disrespectful little bratt so I repremand her attitude and she just walks out. I feel so helpless. Is there anything I can do for her. In need of some serious help.   (Last changed: February 26, 2006)

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REPLIES:

Post # 00000454
Re: Teenage daughter decides she wants to live with dad
From: A MOTHER WHO NEEDS HELP
Remote Name: 64.136.26.235

Comments
My daughters 13 years old and she's very disrespectful it seems she hates me very much I really think she hates. every time I discipline her she wants to live with her father.  (Last changed: February 26, 2006 )

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Post # 000004ee
Re: Teenage daughter decides she wants to live with dad
From: Mother in Pa
Remote Name: 152.163.253.98

Comments
Tinker I printed your letter. I have been down and out and your words are what I needed to hear So when I get upset I will have them near my side. Thanks for taking your time to make others feel good. God Bless You !!!!!  (Last changed: February 26, 2006)

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Post # 000004f5
Re: Teenage daughter decides she wants to live with dad
From: 
Remote Name: 64.12.117.11

Comments
I am going through the same thing. My daughter has been living with her real dad and stepmom for over 3 years now. I was in counseling for awhile, for about two years. I think I need to go again. I feel so down all the time. I feel like my life is so incomplete without her. I still see her, I see her every other weekend. And we do talk on the phone. I also send her cards and care packages. But, still my life seems so sad and lonely. It also seems so un-normal.   (Last changed: February 26, 2006)

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Post #  0000052d
Re: Teenage daughter decides she wants to live with dad
From: A Mom that feels so lost
Remote Name: 66.191.239.104

Comments
I have cried and I feel so sick. I can't sleep at night. My daughter who is 14 just decided to live with her father and the court allowed it. He has never been a good parent. We divorced when she was a baby. He has seen her every other weekend and holidays. He slept nude with her when she was 5 years old. I would call to talk with her when she was 6 to 12 years old and she was at his house. Many times when I did call he was asleep at 2 or 3 pm while she had been out playing all day without being watched. I took him to child support recently to get some financial help that would be regular getting to me. I am disabled and can't work. As soon as the court decided it would be taken out of his check monthly he filed for custody of her. Her desire to live with him was granted by the court even though he admitted to sleeping nude with her at age 5 and that he saw nothing wrong with that. I am so heart broken. I know she will have no supervision there and no one will watch what happens with her school work and such. He will not take her to church. The place he lives is a rough area. The school is noted as not a very good one. But what hurts most of all is I feel she has tossed me to the side and all that I have done for her for years means nothing to her. I feel dead. I don't know what to do.    (Last changed: February 26, 2006)

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Post # 00000547
Re: Teenage daughter decides she wants to live with dad
From: meanvalgheen@aol.com
Remote Name: 128.231.88.3

Comments
I want to cry - I am going through the exact same thing with my almost 17 year old daughter. Her dad is the same way. She is just now moving out of my house. She got in a fight with her stepdad and he took her cellphone, so she came home, got her things and went to her dad's last Thursday. I don't know what to do either.   (Last changed: February 26, 2006)

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Post # 000005e0
Re: Teenage daughter decides she wants to live with dad
From: LeslieMitchener@comcast.net
Remote Name: 68.47.35.150

Comments
My 14-year-old daughter just told me she wants to go live with her father and his family instead of me and she wants to move now - at the Christmas break. I am devastated. Any advice? I'm in Georgia and they live in Michigan.   (Last changed: February 26, 2006)

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Post # 00000666
Re: Teenage daughter decides she wants to live with dad
From: APRILMCCAULEY123@YAHOO.COM
Remote Name: 69.92.154.77

Comments
MY DAUGHTER HAS BEEN GONE FOR ONLY A FEW WEEKS AND I DONT THINK I CAN TAKE IT MY HEART IS DEEPLY HURT LIKE I HAVE LOST MY CHILD FOREVER- THIS WAS MY DAUGHTERS CHOICE SHE IS 15 I JUST DON'T KNOW HOW I WILL MAKE IT THROUGH THIS...   (Last changed: February 26, 2006)

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Post # 0000067b
Re: Teenage daughter decides she wants to live with dad
From: Heartbroken Mom 
Remote Name: 65.9.253.27

Comments
Thanks for the bit of hope. My 15 yr. old daughter left do dads after my husband (who has raised her since she was 3 & she has always called DADDY) found out that she was the one along with her 2 of her new friends (just started high school) that broke into our house & stole alot of money. She denys it & so do the other kids but I know that truth, even thought I rather not. She left to real dads to get away from dealing with this & is now acting out at dads. She is driving & is only 15, getting a tattoo, going out til all hours of the night, ect.... I ask my self where I have gone wrong because I never really expected this from her. She has always been a A student, she is in various clubs @ school, her freinds have been the same since kindergarden. We always talked about everything and she never had to need for anything. My husband & I work very hard to give our girls everything we didnt have. I guess your dammed if you do & your dammed if you dont. She doesnt want to talk to me and she only calls the house to talk to her sister. Asking her all kinds of weird things about our house. Her sister by the way is also very hurt & sometimes when my 15 yr. old calls she really doesnt know what to do or say. I miss her so much that my heart & soul feel like they have been ripped out. I dont see the end to any of this, just that I might have to live my life with out my baby. Her real dad doesnt even answer my phone calls when I call him to find out how she is doing. Calling her grandparents on the other side also hasnt helped, they just tell me to wait til she calls me because they need to respect her wishes. Do these people not get it. Shes not there because she loves them (she never had a relationship with her real dad or any of them before this) shes there because she rather deal with them right now that deal with me & the theft & her even attacking me at the mall. Thanks for listening, this really help by writting it down. Heartbroken Mom   (Last changed: February 26, 2006)

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Post # 0000075b
Re: Teenage daughter decides she wants to live with dad
From: 
Remote Name: 4.224.186.7

Comments
Take her on DR. Phil.
(Last changed: February 26, 2006)

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Post #  000007e4
Re: Teenage daughter decides she wants to live with dad
From: crushed
Remote Name: 168.41.102.200

Comments
Both of my daughters decided they wanted to live with their father. They are 14 and 15 years old. I came home from work one day and they were not home from school. I called their dad's house to see why they were not home - no answer. Two hours later I am served with custody modification papers with signed affidavits stating they both want to live with their dad. I have not stopped crying yet - it has been 3 months. They live 0.9 of a mile from me and I can only see them during my official ordered custody time - no more than that! For a man who saw his children any time he wanted - no questions, no nothing - just because it was the right thing to do - you know, that's their father. All to be kicked in the teeth! But, because my children are old enough to decide where they want to live - there is nothing I can do. And on top of that, I will have to pay more child support than he ever thought of paying! It is totally insane!   (Last changed: February 26, 2006)

 

 

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