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Teen daughter alienated from custodial Mom

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Post #  [Unsure if this was the first post in the thread] 000005a2
Re: Teen daughter alienated from custodial Mom
From: 13 year old daughter alienated from custodial mom
Remote Name: 150.142.238.92

Comments
I am being severely alienated by the father of my 13 year old daughter. she hates me and does not want to see me or talk to me. Have a court order for counceling but she refuses to go. ex husband shopped therapists until he found one who got on his wagon train. (PAS train). what should i do. courts are to lame.   (Last changed: February 26, 2006)

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REPLIES:

Post # 000005a8
Re: Teen daughter alienated from custodial Mom
From: Heather
Remote Name: 12.202.118.224

Comments
Did you ever get any responses to this? I just read this and my heart went out to you. I'm hoping that things have gotten better for you and your daughters since then. I've discovered articles on PAS recently after losing my 18 yr old daughter to a 36 yr old man (boyfriend) and now her target is me (her mother) for having "rules" throughout the years I had raised her. Having rules made me a control freak apparently. My ex-husband has always been my children's buddy, very seldom a "parent" (until the past two years when things got very chaotic) which has made me and my husband (their step-father) the "bad guys." The pain one experiences when their own child turns on them after raising them (I have 3 daughters ages 13, 16 & 18) with unconditioanl love and many sacrifices is almost unbearable. I feel like I'm fighting ghosts while she slanders me left & right and tries to turn her two sisters against me. I know that she has other influences who feed into it and yet I blame her as well for letting it happen. Our relationship has been destroyed and I really don't think I'll ever trust her again or feel the same way about her. I'll love her because she's my daughter, but I don't know if I can ever forgive her for her cruelty. She has no conscience and is never to blame for anything, twisting things around to her benefit. I feel like I've lost the battle for her love and the pain won't go away. Just needed to make sure you knew you weren't alone in this situation. I sincerely hope that your girls soon realized that life is too short and they also realized who really loves them and is always there for them. It angers me that ex's can influence so easily and get away with it. Best wishes.  (Last changed: February 26, 2006 )

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Post # 0000050f
Re: Teen daughter alienated from custodial Mom
From: Terri
Remote Name: 68.186.12.187

Comments
Hi, I just had to reply to your post. I have been going through similar situations. I've been divorced 7 years now. Was given sole custody, with all the legal responsibility. And the X- quit his job so he didn't have to pay support at all. My two daughters are 21 and 17 now. The oldest ran away to live with him at 17 and he gave her alcohol and pot. Their trailor was even busted and the law was no help to me. I finally just gave up. She calls me alot more now and has even said sorry, but still tries to get my now 17 yr old to go out and live like them. I work very hard and have supported them on my own. I live in a Nice house, never drink and don't take drugs, have never been arrested and am a Mom who works by day and sits home and supervises my daughter. I have tried so hard and they still can get manipulated by a Man who used to terrorize us all, by hitting us, yelling, breaking our things. I haven't spoken to him in 7 years, but the Law requires that Fathers get visits. So I had to comply with that. Wow. If you can call him a father. At this point all I can do is pray and give them the unconditional Love that Moms do give. I hope one day they will return that. My 17 year old is doing well, 4.0 student and planning college. Still trying to alienate me. I never bother to argue with her. I made a rule that she can drive the car I bought her, if she never skips a class, doesn't drink, and keeps good grades, comes home at the agreed time, never past midnight. It is working good so far. I just pray it works good enough so that she can get an education in college and have a good life. Like we all want for our kids. I found that going to court and all the arguing did nothing. I learned that with the oldest girl. She is doing ok, but not very happy and doesn't have a very stable life yet. That hurts, but I know I did every thing I could. So I just love her and pray for her. I pray for your daughter too, that she can return to you, girls really need a parent-not a buddy. A Mothers Love cannot be replaced. Some think it can, but when they screw up others give up on them. Moms Don't!   (Last changed: February 26, 2006)

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Post # 00000577
Re: Teen daughter alienated from custodial Mom
From: Alienated father
Remote Name: 69.55.40.37

Comments
Not a good thing for the kid(s), but I too was alienated from my child for 10 years after our break-up. She went on to spit out 2 more kids by 2 different fathers. Keeping them from thier father's too, just so she could sit at home and collect the money, and go on every concievable federal welfare program available. I have spent nearly $100'000 in leagal fees to fight her at every turn, and I have won every time. But still the court system frowns on fathers for some reason. Anyway, I don't know this situation, but I know there is one woman that deserves to be treated as she treats others, but as lond as there is a child at stake, revenge will just have to take a different form to protect the innocent.  (Last changed: February 26, 2006)

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Post #  00000617
Re: Teen daughter alienated from custodial Mom
From: A mom also alienated from her daughter
Remote Name: 68.9.52.61

Comments
I want to thank you for writing about a problem that I thought I only suffered with. I too, had sole custody of my children when my ex and I seperated, but due to his control with money and devious manipulating ways, and I being an only child with no support system, had to let my 2 children live with him or face being homeless with me. Courts are of no help. I have been in the court system for 7 yrs and still face unfair issues that I can't fight. Money talks. I have not seen my 14 yr old daughter in 5 yrs and suffer unimaginable bouts of depression because of it. She has been totally brainwashed and has a new a step mom now that would like me to not exist. However, my son and I have a great relationship and spend lots of time together. I hope that if there is a God that She never sleeps. My thoughts are with all the Mothers who suffer as I do. Mom in Pain  (Last changed: February 26, 2006)

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Post # 00000771 
Re: Teen daughter alienated from custodial Mom
From: Mike
Remote Name: 129.42.208.182

Comments
I am dealing with the same situation from my 13 year old daughter. She won't see me or talk with me either. I am not the custodial parent. She lives with her mom and her mom will not force her to see me. My only advice, as hard as it is, is to be patient and don't get mad at her for what she is doing. Let her know, whatever way you can, that you love her and are there for her.   (Last changed: February 26, 2006)

 

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