Posts from former Discussion pages 

Someone else will always be the mother of his first child
(Feelings about the other woman)

NOTE: These posts are presented 'as is' as the poster wrote, with no editing.  The poster's ISP address is included as it was required to create the original post.

 

Post #  0000049a
How do you deal with it?
From: Angela
Remote Name: 68.111.81.17

Comments
My boyfriend and I love each other very much. He wants to marry me and have a family, but I can't seem to get over the fact that he has a child with an ex-girlfriend. He has told me how he was happy when he found out she was pregnant, how they were going to get married, and is a very devoted father to his five year old son. It hurts me to know this and to realize even if I do have his children someday, someone else will always be the mother of his first child. I love him very much but I can't stop these nagging feelings from getting in the way. I can't stand the thought of him being so close with another woman, doing all those things that he should have done with ME, with his wife. He let her have the privilege he should have saved for me. I know he didn't know me then, but how could he have wanted to do those things with someone else? I haven't wanted to yet with anyone. I'm saving it for my husband. Why didn't he? I think I have no choice but to end the relationship and find a guy who, like me, has no children. Does anyone else feel this way? My boyfriend thinks I should have gotten over it a long time ago, but I just can't.  (Last changed: February 26, 2006)

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REPLIES:

Post # 000004a7
Re: How do you deal with it?
From: ValGal
Remote Name: 67.171.149.190

Comments
Wow--I don't quite know what to say except for 1. It's great that you are so honest with yourself and your feelings and 2. Do not marry this man! Obviously you are insecure about SOMETHING in this relationship, otherwise, the fact that he has a child with someone else would not distress you so much. I applaud you for "waiting" until you get married...but you really should find someone else who has the same ideals as you..."waiting" is important to you because you want to have that exclusiveness and not have to think about him having been with someone else...but since the reality of the situation is that he HAS been with someone else, and it bothers you so much, it's either you work past it or break things off.   (Last changed: February 26, 2006 )

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