Posts from former Discussion pages 

Frustration; Maybe time to give up
(Parents with Alienated Children)

NOTE: These posts are presented 'as is' as the poster wrote, with no editing.  The poster's ISP address is included as it was required to create the original post.

 

Post # 000004de
Maybe time to give up
From: Saoirse
Remote Name: 66.169.159.153

Comments
It's been getting steadily worse for about five years and I feel it may be time for me to give up the fight. I'm a non-custodial mother with two sons turned against me. The most frustrating thing is that the reasons they give for hating me don't make any *sense*! They say they hate me because I lie to them, don't care about them and mistreat them. Yet they can't give any specific lies or any specific reasons they think I don't care or that I mistreat them. And the truth is, I treat them pretty darn good! I'm so angry. Not just at my ex and his wife but at the kids too! How could they be so weak-minded and gullible? How could they believe any negative thing they hear about me even when it doesn't add up with what they know from experience? I feel like I've been shot in the gut and left to die. Since there is virtually nothing that can be done to stop it once an alienator decides he wants your children to hate you, there should be severe punishment for parents who do this. There should be counseling programs to teach kids to think for themselves and resist alienation. /saoirse  (Last changed: February 26, 2006)

***

 

REPLIES:

Post # 000004e0
Re: Maybe time to give up
From: ValGal
Remote Name: 67.171.149.190

Comments
It's not so much that the kids are "weak-minded and gullible", it's that their sense of reality has been corrupted. PLEASE get the book "Divorce Poison", I'm reading it now and it will offer you tons of insight about your kids' behavior and give you some direction.  (Last changed: February 26, 2006 )

***

Post #  000004e4
Re: Maybe time to give up
From: Saoirse
Remote Name: 24.178.2.36

Comments
Thank you. I ordered the book today and for some reason I decided not to give up. For ten days I've been thinking of nothing but sweet surrender and feeling sorry for myself, but I guess I got tired of doing that and decided I'm not a quitter. If nothing else, I refuse to give the frog the satisfaction of having me walk away. He's going to have to do much worse if he wants to get rid of me. (Unfortunately, I believe he will, but for now, I'm hanging in there)  (Last changed: February 26, 2006)

***

Post # 000004e6
Re: Maybe time to give up
From: ValGal
Remote Name: 67.171.149.190

Comments
Good for you! I applaud your courage. Hang in there, sometimes it's best to take things a day at a time or it can easily get overwhelming.  (Last changed: February 26, 2006)

***

Post #  000004fe
Re: Maybe time to give up
From: Rhonda
Remote Name: 65.30.121.45

Comments
I have been experiencing PAS for 6 months. I have read some 0f the other letters from mothers, and i feel their pain. I cry on a daily basis because of what my childrens father has put me through as being the "loser" of the family because i don't make as much money as him and his new wife. This started 5 years ago when I left my husband and I and to the point that I feel I need to give up to keep my sanity. He never lets me know what school functions or schedules the children have even after I ask. so in turn the children think i don't care about them and the saddest part is i moved 5 minutes away so I could spend more time easily with them.    (Last changed: February 26, 2006)

***

Post #  00000532
Re: Maybe time to give up
From: Ana
Remote Name: 64.12.117.14

Comments
I'm a mother who's lost custody of my daughter 11 yrs ago due to a default in court of no appearance due to my ignorance I've been trying to educate my self to this parent alienation that my daughters has to go through. At times I feel I should give up, but I think to my self that if I do my daughter will not have a chance to hear me voice my oppinon of how I feel. So what I decided to do is to tell her my next visit if I ever get to see her which her father's violated the court order is to let her know that when in time she feels that she wants to be a part of her mommy and younger brother's age 9 & 4years of age that we'll be her for her no matter what. I've always told my daughter during her visits with me which was once a month and holidays that no matter what she needs both parents in her life even if the other parent is treating the other parent the most important person her is her. I love her so much that I'm not going to give up, but in hopes that all my words of advise to her during our visits I know in my heart that she'll remember and will one day be with her brother's and I again this what I strongly believe in my heart.  (Last changed: February 26, 2006)

***

Post # 00000504
Re: Maybe time to give up
From: 
Remote Name: 65.202.230.243

Comments
don't give up. call the school. find out the names of their teachers. go eat lunch with them. it's very hard i am going thru this myself.   (Last changed: February 26, 2006)

***

Post # 00000523
Re: Maybe time to give up
From: Lisa
Remote Name: 152.163.101.10

Comments
I can sympathize with you. I am a custodial parent but I am experiencing some of the same things you are. DON'T GIVE UP. If you feel your children are better off with you than DON't GIVE UP.  (Last changed: February 26, 2006)

***

Post # 00000591
Re: Maybe time to give up
From: Mother of lost boys
Remote Name: 68.80.61.101

Comments
I lost my three boys to PAS almost 15 years ago. I too heard the inane excuses as to why they hated me and would not talk to me. It was a loss and a pain so deep that I wondered how my heart kept beating and my lungs kept filling with air. I finally let go as it was the only way to survive. I am remarried to a wonderful man. I have three step-children and five precious little people who call me Mom Mom. Nothing can ever fill the void where my lost boys once lived. They are with me daily. They laugh and sing and play in my memory and in my soul. I have chosen to ONLY remember the good and am thankful to have had them in my life. I recently had a meeting with one of my sons. I don't think that I was what he expected. The inane excuses are still there, "As a mother you did everything right...we were not very well taken care of.." "I know you had to work...you were never home.." "Up until the time of the divorce you were a great Mom.." It is very sad that they can not see the contradiction in these statement. I do not know if my lost boys will ever truly come home again. I do know that tomorrow and the next day and every day there after I will live, I will laugh and I will love and enjoy my new family all the while carrying my lost boys inside of me. They will never be forgotten. I liken PAS to the Holocaust..the dehumanization, the resulting devestation of mind and body and most saddly, no one listened, no one helped. PAS Moms and Dads deserve a life filled with love, laughter, peace and contentment. Do whatever you can to find that again.    (Last changed: February 26, 2006)

 

***

Also this related post:

Post # 00000596
Re: TORN APART
From: torn apart too
Remote Name: 150.142.239.97

Comments
i cry as i read this because it has happened to me, i am about to give up because every time i call her she hangs up on me and i can't even tell her how much i really love her and i am there for her.   (Last changed: February 26, 2006)

 

 

END OF THIS TOPIC.

 

 

 

RETURN TO CATEGORY INDEX

 

RETURN TO HOME PAGE OF 
PARENTAL ALIENATION WEB SITE

 

Disclaimer: The content of old discussion pages belongs to the original poster.  PsyCare Inc. and Dr. Douglas Darnall, Ph.D. assumes no responsibility for the views expressed in any posting.