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Ignored on Father's Day by Alienated Children

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Original
Post # 000000ba
Father's Day
From:
Date: 6/16/01
Time: 5:58:15 PM
Remote Name: 66.31.187.73

Comments
It has been 12 years since my husband has heard from or seen his 4 children and he now has a 2 1/2 year old grandaughter he has never seen, the alienation was so skillful and so complete.  Every year he gets cards and gifts from his stepchildren and he appreciates it. He has been a wonderful step dad, but my heart breaks to see the look in his eyes when once again he is ignored and I know there are many Fathers out there who are just as hurt and it seems there is nothing anyone can do. I keep praying for a miricle that this might be the year that those now almost adult children will want to contact or see their Dad. Prayer is all we have left.  (Last changed: February 26, 2006)

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REPLIES:

Post # 000000f4
Re: Father's Day
From: Dad & StepMom
Date: 9/6/01
Time: 9:02:44 PM
Remote Name: 65.12.211.144

Comments
We can totally identify with your situation. My husband, Dan, has not seen his 3 kids in a decade and has a new granddaughter also. We are not allowed to know where they physically reside (they will only give a PO Box), nor are we "allowed" by his ex to have their phone number. When we send phone cards, they don't use them. If he mentions how he is being limited contact or defends himself in any way through e-mail, his 18-year-old sends horrible, nasty replies and calls him, "ass hole," and that he is "dead" to her. She says that she has not wanted to see him and it was her own free decision--her mother had nothing to do with it. Never has he been allowed to have visitation. Excuses always came up, even that they were afraid of earthquakes out west. Basically, we feel it is too late and have no choice but to try and move on. I feel horrible for him, though, as he is a good man and does such a great job helping to raise my daughter (which isn't easy as she is a teenager). The one thing I can say is that I am learning from this situation and I am a lot more careful in what I say regarding my daughter's father and I am encouraging towards their relationship.  (Last changed: February 26, 2006 )

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Post # 000000bd
Re: Father's Day
From: lacinda
Date: 6/29/01
Time: 3:10:42 AM
Remote Name: 216.26.16.155

Comments
I understand. Father's Day is tough for NCPs. My husband has 2 sons who only visit because it is mandated. When they are here, they still aren't here. They avoid him, turn their backs to him, walk out of the room if he enters, do not respond to a simple hello or goodbye. It has been almost 4 yrs and he is ready to give them up. It has become such a struggle for all of us that they may be better off; we just don't know.  (Last changed: February 26, 2006)

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Post # 000000c5
Re: Father's Day
From: Andre
Date: 7/6/01
Time: 10:46:32 AM
Remote Name: 161.44.158.54

Comments
Hi. I know the feeling. I get my son every other weekend and I had him on Father’s Day. All day he didn’t say a word and you hear it all over the radio and TV that it’s Father’s Day. On the way home and I ask him if he knew what day it was and he said yes dad it’s Father’s Day and then he told me that he was told by his mother not to do anything or say anything on Father’s Day, I know what you mean about getting hurt but hearing that hurt more then never getting a Birthday card or Christmas card. So I told him, do you think it’s right what your mother says and he said, I don’t know and I told him, Son I Love You very much and he gave me a big hug :) So to all the fathers out there I have few words, Hang On, deap inside they do love you.   (Last changed: February 26, 2006)

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Post # 000000c6
Re: Father's Day
From: the stepmom
Date: 7/6/01
Time: 4:23:54 PM
Remote Name: 216.68.129.242

Comments
Unfortunately, in our case, no matter what is mandated, the mother ignores. My husband, the loving father, sees his children less and less. Fortunately, they are not "yet" so destroyed, at least the limited time together is really fun.

We are working with a Pennsylvania court system and we pathetically lose over and over again. Does any one have any recommendations for a PAS aware attorney in the Chester PA area?  Keep praying...  (Last changed: February 26, 2006)

 

 

 

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